Why I Believe in Self-Reflection
Without self-reflection, growth can feel stagnated.
We may not know what type of help we need or what changes need to be made in order for us to get to where we want to be.
We might read all the books, go to all the therapy sessions, even try coaching but still feel like nothing is changing.
We are chasing a one size fits all approach to everything – we want results and we want them fast. But here is the thing, there is no one size fits all approach to achieving goals, losing weight, becoming financially successful, building businesses, having the best relationship, achieving a high-flying career, etc.
We have to understand ourselves first – objectively, to then work out our own path.
And that’s where self-reflection becomes the foundation.
So, what is self-reflection?
(Btw you have another 50 lines to go before you stop reading that word…)
Google will give you a smoother definition for sure, but here is my own take on it based on my experience.
Self-reflection is the ability to pause and look at your own thoughts, behaviours and emotions and asking- is this helping me? Or holding me back? And then gently – beginning to make shifts.
It is fundamental to growth.
But here’s the key: it has to come from a non-judgmental place.
- It’s not about being hard on yourself and rushing to “fix” yourself.
- It is about pausing to listen to yourself without judgement.
- It is about meeting yourself where you are at, knowing you have it in you to go further.
- It’s about accepting that sometimes… you can’t do it alone.
- It’s about recognising that maybe you haven’t moved mountains, but you have grown. You have improved on a previous version of yourself.
- It’s about recognising when you have lashed out at someone, pushed someone away or said something you didn’t mean – that is not really you. That’s a part of you still carrying pain.
Why I’m so passionate about this
It’s a skill that rarely gets taught, not in school and not in the workplace with soft skills training.
But self-reflection has quietly transformed my life.
There was a time when I thought I was doing the work, but I was intellectualising instead of experiencing. I thought I was being self-aware but I wasn’t truly listening to myself.
There were times when I wasn’t ready to hear the truth. Now, I’ll revisit ideas or tools I heard years ago in therapy and think, Oh. Now I get it. That moment of readiness matters.
Self-reflection, when done with honesty and compassion can be transformative but so many people are stuck or don’t know where to start and that really is heartbreaking. So this is my small attempt to change that and hopefully create a ripple effect.
With transparency, I don’t have a therapy/ coaching background or any qualifications but I have been through my own journey and I am still untangling it. I am not perfect or miraculously healed but I am in a better place than I have been. And my hope is to empower you enough to starting building that self reflection foundation so you can get to the same place and beyond.
Do take a look through the resources section – these are tools which have helped me and you never know they may help you too.
Soft Armour 